Tuesday, June 30, 2009

watching it convert

I know I have said this before, but I loved my trip to Nepal. It was absolutely amazing and I would never say it wasn't worth it.

It may have not been worth it.

Today I spent several hours at my hospital being reminded of washing my hands after every patient (even after just entering the room), who the lawyers are to call when I get in a bind, and the number for the pharmacists for when I have no idea what the dosage is.

Then we got our ppd skin test. I had an inclining (ok I thought it was definitely going to happen) that I might sero-convert. This occurs when you are in contact with a patient of TB. You can either sero-convert and not get the disease, or you get the disease and sero-convert. It depends on the length of contact with the patient, the health status of the person who is exposed, the type of TB the patient had.

I had contact in Nepal almost everyday.

So this evening, while I baked cup cakes for my birthday tomorrow, I watched as the ppd test slowly enlarged over time. (dang it!!)

The next steps entail: a chest xray to prove I do not actually have active TB currently and then 9months of Isoniazid (INH) therapy. This drug does not come without heavy side effects. It can cause serious liver damage; especially if you drink while taking it.

What does that mean for me? I will be sober for a solid 9 months and I wont even get a baby out of it.

Thank you Nepal.
(I'd go back in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Sunday, June 28, 2009


A year ago I spent my birthday in one of my favorite vacation spots in the US: Lake Tahoe. I was surrounded by a group of fabulous ladies and it was possibly the best birthday of my life. I ran an amazing 10 mile trail race (although I got lost and added an extra mile to it) two days before my birthday. I went kayaking. We laid out on the lake shore. AMAZING is all I can really say.

This year, I turn 27 and I have to say the birthday will be completely opposite of last. My birthday marks the first day of residency (well, for most programs) and thus I will spend 12 hours of it in the hospital (doing more orientation) and I will attempt to round up ANYONE who would be willing to grab a beer. And although it won't be a bad night--I love birthdays and I dont believe they could ever truly be "bad"--it will be different. Instead of being surrounded by people I know, for the majority I will be surrounded by people I am desperately trying to get to know.

I am to have a birthday party filled with those I met about a week ago.

So I guess this goes back to a previous post---I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Pop Up Thoughts

Over the past two weeks and for the next couple of weeks, I have been and will be certified in several life saving courses. They include Basic Life Support (BLS) twice, Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS), Pediatric Advanced Life Support (PALS), Neonatal Resuscitation Program (NRP), Advanced Pediatric Life Support (APLS--this is basically the same as PALS), and Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS).

By the second course it all starts to sound very similar. ABC--Airway, breathing and circulation, then do other stuff. That other stuff varies based on age and what the monitor says.

One of the "exciting" things in all of these courses is the idea of getting to do some procedures that I've wanted to get my hands on for awhile now. Putting in advanced lines, and intubating a patient. I know this will sound a bit off color, but I've decided that the human vocal chords really look like a very small vagina. I know I know, its bizarre. But here's a picture

And once this idea got into my mind I couldn't stop thinking about it each time I intubated. And now I think this might just be what I think of each time I intubate in the future. And maybe its not a bad thing because codes are a bit hectic, so to have a moment of lightness could be actually helpful.....

So if you see a flash of a grin while I intubate it may because this pop up thought has appeared. Or it may be because I still cannot believe I am intubating someone; that I have actually graduated from medical school and in residency.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


As things change rapidly around me, and we are warped closer to the start of residency, there is a large melancholy feeling about everyone "moving on."

Most of my closest friends have left the state to pursue amazing residencies elsewhere. And while I am so excited and proud of them, I am also sad when I realize many of them I may not see again. When will I have time to travel in residency? When will they? And of course I will make new friends, as will they. But I started this medical journey with them, and it would be nice to continue it and complete it together.

So while my own excitedness for my residency start date grows, so does emptiness of missing my friends, my classmates, my colleagues. I love you guys!!