I love kids. Ask anyone. I was a nanny in Denver during undergrad. I spent a lot of my free time taking the kids to Chuck E Cheese or to the movies or taking them swimming or to the science museum. It was always a blast. They ask great questions, have great imaginations, and laugh at words like poop and fart (lol i said fart...). So although I whined like a little kid my last blog I was actually looking forward to hanging out with the 3'9 clientele. That was until I realized that these are sick kids.
Sick not as in physically ill (although a couple had the flu), I mean psychologically and socially. The cute 12 year old girl told me how much cocaine she snorted. The 15 year old girl old me about how her 23 year old boyfriend was going to be mad at her once she got out. The 9 year old girl told me how she attacked her stepmom in the car while she was driving...for no reason. And these are just the girls.
I know I'm not going to personally "save" anyone, but looking around the room and hearing these stories, I start to lose hope that anyone will. I would say that usually I'm a positive person. But these situations suck the positive thoughts right out of me. These are the kids that grow up and become the adults that I saw the past 4 weeks. These are the kids that my mom sees in juvenile court--time after time.
How do I go back every morning with such a grim outlook? Each day I go into work hoping that someone will be given a chance to make a good choice and actually choose it. Unfortunately the real test is not while these kids are in the safe inpatient facility---its when they are surrounded by temptation or pissed off at the world, but at least they get some practice in a safe environment.
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